11 Funny Jokes to Tell a Girl

Humor helps people stick together, after all the more fun you have with someone, the more you want to be with them. That includes doing fun things together, as well as having a sense of humor in everyday life. Of course you need to give compliments and do gestures that show you love someone, but you also need humor. Fun. Laughter. So here are some suggestions to get your brain into gear for coming up with some small jokes in everyday situations.

Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

When You Go to a Hipster Place

“How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!” This is a classic line, but it’s funny in the right context. Make sure you don’t make it sound degrading though – we all do things to be perceived a certain way, whether it be cool, smart, strong, etc. and as a general rule girls don’t like men who pick on others. So tell the joke as it’s meant to be – a funny joke, not a degrading comment.

When Ordering Pizza

You know the date when you’re too tired to go out, so you stay in, order a pizza and watch Netflix.  Yeah, well instead of arguing whether to watch Outlander or House of Cards, you could crack a joke about the pizza when ordering it. “You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.”

Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

When She Catches You Speaking to Yourself

“The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!” There, that’s it. The entire reason why you need to speak to yourself all the time!

When Having Your Parents Over



If you both aren’t too thrilled about your family visiting, or maybe some of your friends visiting, just tell her “Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.” Then maybe go onto telling her she’s a star for putting up with them, so she knows you appreciate her efforts.

That Embarrassing Moment of Fear

When a small mouse runs over your foot and you scream, or an insect lands on your arm and you scream, or someone just walks up behind you and you scream and you want to protect that manly courage of yours: “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”

Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

When Lightening Up a Bad Moment

We all have bad days sometimes and it’s important when we date someone we are there to support them. When it comes to women the usually don’t want your advice after a bad day, they just want someone to listen, really listen to them, hug them and be there for them. Care for them. Once they’ve relaxed as you’ve made them relax by caring, cracking a joke can lighten the mood. Such as saying: “Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”



If Your Girlfriend Worries 

If your girlfriend is having a tough day, worrying a lot about something you can tell her: “Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.” Make sure you don’t disregard her worry though – acknowledge it and then to lighten the mood, tell her the joke.

After this you can also say: “I always take life with a grain of salt…plus a slice of lemon…and a shot of tequila.” And then offer her something to drink. You may not have the tequila (and it might not be recommendable depending on the situation) but you can offer a large comforting cup of tea, some hot chocolate, or a glass of wine…

Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

That Moment When Your Laptop Crashes 

“A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.” You could exchange the word “computer” for “smartphone” if it’s your smartphone having a breakdown, or you’re trying to figure out how to use a new app.

When You’re Trying Hard

If you’re at home trying to get your girl in the mood and she knows you’ve really put in an effort and you’re both having a good time, when asking her how you’re doing with the whole “I cooked you an amazing dinner, lit the candles, set the table for a Queen, put on the music, dressed well…” you can say: “Am I cute enough yet, or do I need to pour you another glass of wine?”

The Christmas Sale / Black Friday 

“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” – Franklin Jones

The perfect line to say with a sense of humor when she’s looking to buy something you know she really doesn’t need at the sale, or you’re looking to buy something you don’t need.

When She Asks About the Gym

You know you come home from the gym and she asks you how it was and you want a witty response. Well, then you quote Bill Murray: “My legs are so sore that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.”

Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

Lastly…

Guys, the best way of being funny is to use the situation you’re in and crack a joke about it. However, for her to think you’re funny you need to make sure you meet her emotional needs first. I.e. if you’re making fun of her best friend in a degrading manner, you’ve just screwed up. If you make sure to show you really like her best friend, then crack a lighthearted joke about her, laughing with her, as opposed to against her, then it’s suddenly funny instead.

Likewise, if you’re cracking a joke about her in a demeaning manner, it’s not funny. Sarcasm often develops between people in long relationships, because you know each other’s flaws and some are funny. If you let that take over (i.e. making sarcastic jokes all the time), your relationships goes sour though. When the two of you are out with friends, instead of telling a really funny story about how she messed up baking your birthday cake, tell a story about how great she is.

If she has a concern and you crack a joke about it to try to make her lighten up, it will only work if you’ve first showed concern about her concern. If you ignore her emotions she will think you are being mean, so don’t.Funny Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

Oh and how do you get good at jokes? You watch a lot of stand-up comedy and shows where people poke fun of things, like The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, etc. You also check out Funny or Die on a regular basis (the website) and read through funny quotes by, well, funny people.

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