Knowing if you should text a guy is one of the hardest things. Do you text him after a date? What about if he hasn’t texted you back a few times? Depending on your situation, texting at the wrong time can have dire consequences on your relationship with him.
If you’re trying to get into a relationship with a guy, knowing the right time to text him and in what situation can help you snag him. However, doing so at the wrong times can blow your chances of ever being with him in the first place. And you never want that.
If you’re someone who isn’t naturally gifted at reading people and situations, this may be really hard for you. The key is to know the situation, know the person, and know just what to – or not to – say. No need to fear. I’m here to help with a complete guide to show you the way.
A Guide for Every Situation
Overall, these situations call for roughly the same protocol when texting. During these times, here’s how to know if you should text him or leave your phone alone and wait for him to talk first.
- After a First Date
Texting a guy after a first date can be tough. On one end, you don’t want to seem desperate and clingy, but on the other end, you want to make sure he knows you had a great time. In this situation, you have to make a judgment call. Did you have a great time?
If so, just text him saying jus that. All you have to text him is, “I had a great time!” and leave it at that. There’s no need to go into detail or send a paragraph long text about how much fun you had. He’ll get the message plain and simple. But definitely make sure he knows you had fun. Otherwise, he may think you didn’t enjoy yourself.
- He Hasn’t Responded in a While
If you texted him once or even twice and he hasn’t replied in a while (a few hours to a whole day), don’t text him again. He either doesn’t want to talk to you at that time or he’s really busy with something and he’ll be annoyed by getting text and text from you. It’ll be really hard to do because you may be feeling rejected at this point, but you have to just let it go. He’ll text you if he think of it or even wants to.
This can be really tricky because you clearly are into him and he’s clearly into you. So do you text him and tell him how much you enjoyed it? Or do you let it be and let him make the first move? Chances are, he may not text first for fear of giving you the wrong idea. So you’ll have to take the reigns and send a simple text like, “That was fun ;)” to loosen him up a bit. If it was weird and awkward and not as fun as you thought it would be and you’re no longer interested, avoid texting him to send the wrong idea.
- You Just Got His Number
If someone just gave you their number, you may be tempted to text it right away so they have yours. Don’t do this! One thing guys really like is a good chase. They want to come after you and by not texting right away, you’re giving him the chance to wonder if you even like him. Give it a good day or so after you get his number before sending a quick, “hey there! It’s _____”. That’ll make him sweat a little and appreciate your text all the more.
- You Just Met His Friends
Friends are a big deal. If you’ve just met his friends it means he’s totally into you and you’re in the clear. But should you text him right away after meeting his friends? Yes, you should. Chances are, he was really nervous for you to meet them and it dying to know how it went. Sending a text that says you had fun and like his friends will not only make him really happy, but he’ll feel at ease knowing you like his inner circle.
- You Just Met His Family
If you thought friends was a big deal, family is even more so important. At this point, he likes you enough to bring you home and therefore, you no longer really need to worry about when you should text him. So yes, text him after this! Tell him you enjoyed is family and were happy to have been included in the family activity. This will mean a lot to him and he’ll feel better knowing you had fun.
- Something Weird Happened Between You Two
Awkward stuff is bound to happen in a new and budding relationship. Someone said something offensive but they didn’t know it would be, you did something a little weird and now you feel awkward. But should you text them about it? Does it warrant a text in the first place or is it best to ignore it? The truth is that it depends. If it was weird enough to make you feel differently about him, then text him to clear the air. If it was just a moment of weirdness that passed, forget about it.
- You’re Not Into Him
This is a tough one because on one hand, you spent time with him and he could be really into you and you don’t want to hurt him but on the other hand, you don’t care about him like you thought. So do you text him or do you ignore him? For this situation, don’t ignore him under any circumstances. That’s called ghosting and it makes you an ass. If you’re not someone who can just tell him you’re not interested, replying with shorter messages and even seeming uninterested may give him the hint.
- He Upset You
If he did or said something that made you mad or upset in any way, it can be tempting to text him and get into an argument. In this situation, I would advise that you take some time to yourself and to determine if the incident was enough to make you dislike him or if you can get over it. Then text him after you’ve decided and talk about it.
- You Heard Something Bad About Him
Rumors are told all the time. You may have heard something about him that was less than favorable and it made you concerned. It can be difficult knowing if you should bring it up to him in a text or to ignore it. My advice would be to text him – but only if you can’t talk in person. Something like this requires a discussion that’s best had in person but if you can’t do that, then text him what you heard and ask for an explanation.
Times You Shouldn’t Text Him
Sometimes you should never pick up your phone and text a guy. If you’re curious when those times might be so you can avoid a disaster, here’s when you should just forget about him for a while.
- He’s Upset
Guys aren’t like girls. We need to talk things out in order to cool down and go back to our normal selves. Guys on the other hand, need their space to process their emotions. They need to be left alone. Therefore, if you sense that he’s mad or he even says he is, then give him his space and let him sort through it. The last thing you want is for him to get upset with you, too.
- He’s Busy
When someone is really busy with stuff, the last thing they want is to be texted multiple times. If he tells you he has a lot going on during the day, sending him a text will only stress him out and annoy him. Don’t text him when you know he’s busy and especially if he tells you he’s busy but will text you when he has a free minute.
- You’re Mad
I know you may want to text him when you’re mad, but don’t – especially if you’re mad at him. Actually, no matter what you’re mad at, don’t text him because your mood can rub off on him or you may say something that offends him just because you’re in a sour mood. Calm down, get your head back to yourself, and then text him and talk about why you were upset. Having a clear head can save you from sending him the wrong text and making him upset.
- When You’re Drunk
This is just a huge no-no and I’m sure you know this by now. When you’re drunk, you’re not thinking straight and you could say things that you never would normally say. Meaning you may embarrass yourself or upset him. So if you know you’ll be drinking and getting fairly intoxicated, turn your phone off or disable your texting so you’re not able to send him anything that could ruin your relationship.
- If You’ve Already Texted Him a Lot Without a Response
Repeatedly texting someone who isn’t responding is just annoying. If you’ve sent a few text messages and aren’t getting anything back, it could be because he’s busy or just not interested. And although he would be an awful person for just ignoring you instead of just saying he’s not into you, you have to ignore it. Don’t keep sending a text because it’ll make him mad or just really annoy him.
Texts You Should Never Send Him
There are certain things you should never text someone – no matter how much you want to. They can be taken in the wrong way and you can ruin something great just by sending the wrong thing. Here’s what you should avoid texting him.
- What’s up
This is both boring and overused. You’ve sent this text so many times and it’s really not unique to him. You aren’t making him feel special by sending this. Instead, you’re making him feel like you’re bored and are texting him just for something to do and not because you actually want to talk to him. So avoid sending this text and make it more personalized instead. Send something along the lines of, “Hey _____. Was doing _____ and it made me think of you. How are you doing?”. This shows him you actually are interested in what he’s doing and not just looking for entertainment.
- Why aren’t you answering?
This is the worst text to send a guy. So when you start typing this out on your phone, just delete it all and put your phone down. It doesn’t matter why he’s not answering. He’ll explain himself to you later if it’s necessary. This text shows that you’re insecure and even mildly controlling. This will only make him want to ignore you even more – if he’s even ignoring you. He could be busy or his phone may have died. There are a lot of explanations for someone not answering and you’ll get them all when he can get to his phone.
- I can’t wait to hang out again.
This may seem like a really innocent text, but it’s actually not. It seems nice and sweet but what it’s really saying is, “I’m automatically assuming we’re hanging out again and I’m a little clingy.” You can say you had a great time and you’d like to do it again sometime, but don’t just put the message out there that you’re already assuming you’re going to be hanging out. That’s assuming he had a great time too and while it may have seemed that way, you just never know what someone else is feeling. So keep it simple.
- What’s your problem?
If a guy is being testy with you and even being a little rude, sending something like this is probably what you WANT to do. However, it’s not the best idea to actually send it. Why? Because it’ll only piss him off even more. If he’s mad and he’s texting you, that’s his problem. He’ll see what an ass he was after the fact. The best thing you can do if you feel the urge to send this is to just ignore him. Once he calms down and starts acting himself again, he’ll text you and you can ask him why he was so upset. But asking this will most likely result in just making him even more mad.
- Why are you acting like this?
This can seem like an innocent way of saying the previous text. But it’s just as bad. If someone is acting a little off or weird or even upset, don’t send this. This could be a bad thing to do because simply because they may not see anything wrong with their behavior. A better way of approaching this situation would to just ask him, “How are you today?” It’ll get the answers you’re looking for without being offensive to him.
Knowing just what to text a guy in any situation can be a little difficult. You never want to run the risk of saying the wrong thing and ruining something great.