Statistics indicate that between 45 and 55 percent of women have engaged in an extra-marital affair. Other studies show that cases of women cheating have been in the rise in the past one decade. This means that the chances of your wife or girlfriend cheating are always real. Infidelity can have a devastating effect on the personal, economic and social life of the affected person as well as their kids and friends.
While men are still more likely to cheat as compared to women, the recent statistics show the infidelity gap between the two genders is closing. A major reason for the increase in cheating among women is change in economic and cultural climate in the U.S. With women now earning higher incomes and having more job prospects, they are more able to handle the implications of cheating.
Unlike the past where women were taught to be good girls and to behave like a lady, the 21st century has seen a new dawn where women are now allowed to be tough, to speak their minds, enjoy sex and even become the CEO. In other words, the current century has seen the increase in the assertiveness of women and most of them have become aware of their wants, needs and desires.
Women are also known to have an emotional attachment to a relationship as compared to men. When ladies cheat, they usually do so in search of emotional intimacy. When a woman cheats, she is looking forward to feeling wanted, desired and irresistible. This is unlike men who cheat in order to derive physical pleasure. This article will explore the reason why women cheat, how to catch a cheating wife and how to deal with a cheating wife. Read on to gain some insight on this hot issue.
Why women cheat
There are several reasons that cause women to cheat. These include:
- Lack of intimacy & attention
It can be difficult for women to go for long without getting love and attention and searching for it from other sources. Most women are looking forward to feeling loved and desired, physical touch, intimacy, mental and emotional attention. If your woman is not receiving this kind of affection from you, it is only a matter of time before she seeks it elsewhere. This could be from the caring workplace, the hot gym trainer or even from the attentive waiter at the restaurant.
It can get very hard to forgive someone who has cheated on you and if this has ever happened to you, you can confirm that you felt hurt, deceived, sad, angry, violated and numb. This can also negatively impact your self esteem. Cheating will negatively impact you relationship, mood and even the ability of your wife to trust you. When your woman catches you cheating, she may want to revenge so that she may feel the same way you felt.
- Bad sex
Many women would like to experience some real orgasms when having sex. In case she is getting bad sex, non-emotional sex or sex that is not enough, she may end up losing interest in the relationship and seek for satisfaction from elsewhere.
- Plastic surgery/weight loss
A woman will get more attention after undergoing a butt implant, good job or even loss of weight. This will also increase her self confidence. When she gets all the attention from men, the temptation to cheat will also rise and she may need more than self control in order to resist the offers. Once she finds out that other men wants her, she may want to act on it and hence feel euphoric.
- Financial independence
When a woman feels financially dependent on the husband or boyfriend, it can be difficult for them to cheat. This will be as a result of the fear of being financially unstable or alone. However, this century has seen many women make more money and rise in the corporate ladder and this has made them to decide not to stay in some unhappy relationships.
Signs of a cheating wife
If there is something that you find odd about your wife’s behavior and your instincts are telling you that there is someone else in her life, it is important to do a bit of investigations before confronting her with the allegations. Here are some common patterns that you should be some telltale signs of a cheating wife.
- Change in social patterns
You should be on the lookout in the way she cares about you. In case she has started distancing herself from your family or friends whom she used to get along well with, this could be an indication of guilt. If she has good relationship with your family and friends, she will understand that there are more people who will get hurt by her infidelity on top of you. This will cause her to feel guiltier and will make her to avoid doing it. A cheating wife will also fear that your family and friend s may be able to pick the cues even when you don’t.
- Increase in her outings
Does your wife seem to increase the amount of times that she is spending with the girls? If this has considerably increased and you are not part of the outings, there could be something fishy. If she tells you that she has been hanging out with her friends, this may not be the case. However, you do not need to feel insecure if these outings aren’t frequent. They should only be a source of concern if your wife is putting more priority to these outings at the expense of spending time with you. If she says that she is going out with the girls and you feel suspicious, you can offer to accompany her. If she spends hours out there and claim that she was shopping, show some interest in the store she visits.
- Take cues when she talks about her new friends
Women will in many occasions speak about the new & exciting events that happen in their lives even when there is a need to keep the secret. If all she does is to speak about her new friend. The friend may be more than just a friend. You should also bear in mind that the wife many be giving you a fake name to confuse you.
- Change in drinking or smoking habit
Even where you wife indulge in that occasional drink, you should pay special attention to when she smells of alcohol. This is particularly the case when she smells of alcohol in what she claims was a day late in the office. This is an indication that she could be having a partner in crime.
- The frequency of work/business trips
You may hear your wife claiming that she is spending more time at work or going for business trips. This despite that fact that she has never being a workaholic. This can be a red flag and she may be spending the time with her new found catch. Consider also the amount of time she is spending when she goes out. Affairs usually cost money and you should therefore take a look at her debit and credit card statements. In the same way, you should also take the time to check on the mileage of her car.
- Change in affection towards her
If you happen to find that she is suddenly becoming more affectionate towards you, this could also be a bad sign. When the wife is cheating, she is likely to become more affectionate towards you in a bid to ease her guilt.
- Consider her phone habits
This may turn out to be a bit tricky since it is common for women to spend more time on their phones. If the woman is spending more time texting or talking and she hangs up when you get into the room, these are habits that could suggest that she could be talking to someone new in her life. Ask her on the phone call she receives particularly when she leaves the room to take the phone or even hang up when you walk in. This could be an indication that she is talking to someone new in her life and she wouldn’t want you to know about them.
Pay special attention on changes in her calling habit such as the time of the day, frequency of calls and the voice tone that she is using.
- Change in sexual behavior
You may expect your wife to have less sexual interest in you when she begins to cheat. While there are instances when this will be the case, there are a few cases when the wives will be more interested in sex more than before. She may do this as a way of alleviating their guilt. This could also be a sign that she has an emotional affair.
- Make eye contact
There are many times when women will avoid eye contact when guilty or when they got a secret that they need to hide. You can make eye contact and if she happens to be cheating; there are high chances that she will turn away. This is particularly the case when she turns away after you ask about where she was.
How to catch a cheating wife
If you are suspicious that your wife is cheating on you, you will need to be a 100 percent sure before you take any action. Ensure that you keep the data you have gathered secure before you can confront her. There are several ways that you can use to catch a cheating wife. Here are a few tips that you can use to catch a cheating wife.
- Cell phone trackers
There are programs that you can install in her phone and use it to correct data. The data can then be sent to a server through the internet which you can easily access through the PC or computer. After manually installing the system in your phone, all you will need to do is to leave the cell phone on and you will be able to access that data remotely. Many of these will work with the latest cellphones and the quality one usually made undetectable
These are devices/software that are used to monitor the key strokes on the PC in what is termed as keystroke logging. These devices can be helpful where you think the person who is cheating is doing so through the computer. However, this method is also more effective for desktops PCs. All you will need to do is to insert the small device into the keyboard slot at the back of your CPU. There are also some software keyloggers that uses the storage space of the laptop or computer.
Global positioning system is a method that is used to track a device remotely from the laptop or PC. The devices are usually attached to cars. However, in the recent past, cellphone spies have become so advanced that they are able to add the functionality to the different software. This can be a great method of busting the lies that your wife tells you. When she tells you that she was on a 5-hour shopping trip, the GPS device will let you know the exact place they were and how long they stayed in that place.
- Reverse phone lookups
This is also referred to as reverse phone directory. The service allows you to track a particular phone number whether a home phone or a cellphone. However, this method has a downside in that people can pay to get removed from the database of the reverse phone lookup. This is the service that is commonly used by telemarketers.
- Watch for signs
Have you noted any change in the behaviors of your partner? It could be that they are now dressing better, have started to work out or started applying makeup. While there could be no reason for the change, but at times these could be red flags.
- Drop unannounced
You can drop unannounced at their workplace or just ensure that you get home early. You should not make it obvious that you are trying to spy on them. Ensure that you have a good excuse for walking in without informing them. If they are cheating on you, they will appear angry or surprised and this is an indication that they are hiding something.
- Check recycle bin
Your wife will mostly dispose of her things in the recycle bins. The recycle bin will also have so many clues. This is a good method of catching her especially when you find that she is spending so much of her time on the computer. You may find the photo of another person or even a little snippet of information that could be useful.
- Snoop their phone
If you find that your partner is carrying out her phone whenever she goes even when going to the loo, there are high chances that she is up to something. Have a look at the cellphone when you have the chance particularly when they have put it in the charger. Phone logs that are erased, or are protected with a password, calls that are to a unknown person or phone bills that do not come with some detailed information are all important indications that show that she could be hiding something.
- Follow after fighting
Many of the cheating wives will pick a fight for no good reason. They may slam the door before walking away. This will be an indication that they are trying to find a reason to meet their adulterous partner. If they are picking fights and getting out of the house, you can follow them while pretending to be apologizing.
Advice for dealing with a cheating wife
In case you have recently discovered that your wife is being unfaithful, you could already be feeling your head spinning. First, you should understand the feelings are normal. You will have suffered a certain level of trauma and the symptoms are likely to be similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorders. In order to handle the shock and the meltdown as a result of the anxiety; here are some survival tactics to deal with a cheating wife.
- Accept your emotions
Avoid denying your feelings or shutting down emotions as this will only create some additional problems and make things worse. You will face recurrent and obsessive thoughts such as rage, anxiety and behavioral or emotional. You will also need to understand that these feelings are not right and neither are they wrong. The feeling could last for months or even years. However, the most important thing is to ensure that you overcome the emotion and not to allow them to overcome you. You can even seek the help of a professional counselor to overcome the feelings.
- Consider the underlying issues
There are several questions that you will need to ask yourself. You will not gain anything by ignoring the underlying issues. There are several questions that you should ask yourself either on your own on with the help of a trained counselor. These include:
- Why do you think your wives strayed and what are you sure that the illicit affair has ended?
- What steps will you take to prevent your partner from straying again?
- Have you forgiven her and what do you want her to do in order to assist you to heal?
- Is your partner admitting her fault and appreciate your disappointment, pain and suffering?
- Understand there is hope
The fact that the wife cheated doesn’t have to mark the end of your marriage. With forgiveness and love, there can be reconciliation and this can even create a great resilience that is able to transform the relationship. It is even possible to make your relationship to be stronger as long as you have that hopeful attitude and hard work.
- Avoid making decisions in a rush
Do not make a major decision to end the marriage because your spouse is unfaithful. Instead, take time to reflect on the marriage and see the issues other than infidelity that you need to recognize and even deal with them.
- Take good care of yourself
You may face some physical reactions to infidelity such as sleep problems ( too much or too little), diarrhea, nausea, difficulty in concentrating, shakiness, overeating and loss of appetite.
Be sure to eat healthy foods and ensure that you remain on a particular schedule. Ensure that you drink enough water, exercise everyday and have fun.
- Have a good laugh
Take time to watch some nice movies or even TV shows. Ensure that you spend more of your time with people who will make you laugh. Remember that no matter the unfaithfulness or heartache, life will still go on.
- Start a journal
Note down your feeling and thought about the unfaithfulness. Remember that tears are also healthy. If you find it difficult for tears to fall down naturally, you can watch a sad movie. At times you may feel numb but it is important to stay connected to the underlying emotion.
- Ask the necessary questions
Be open to talk to your spouse about the infidelity but it is important to remember that your wife may not know why the infidelity occurred or may just not be ready to reveal it to you.
- Contact a therapist
You should not try to cope with the counseling on your own. However, you should avoid going announcing to each tom, dick and harry that your wife is a prostitute. Instead you should know the right people to share with. Understanding the kind of infidelity can also help you to understand it better. Was it an affair or even a one-night stand? Was it during or even after a particular life crisis? Could there be chances of sexual addiction or could it have happened as a result of the need for retaliation? Did the cheating happen in a bid to end your marriage? Contact a therapist to help you answer all these questions.