What do you ask someone to get to know them? That is the question! I’ve compiled 60 questions you can ask someone to get to know them better. A great tip is to start with easy, everyday questions, but soon start mixing in more fun, deep and quirky ones, so as to spice up the conversation a bit. Hold off on the ones hinting to sexual stuff until you feel secure with the person you’re talking to. Innuendo and flirting is always great, but you don’t want to give them the juicy stuff too soon!
1. If there’s one moment of your life you could relive, what would it be?
This will most likely reveal what they consider important, or simply what makes them happy. If you want to snoop further you could ask them for three instead of one moments…
2. What three books would you recommend anyone to read?
You can find out a great deal about a person from what they read, or consider worth reading!
3. What’s your favorite season?
Do they prefer crackling fires and falling leaves, or jumping through waves in summer? You can always follow up with why they like that season so much and how important they think it’s to live in tune with the seasons.
4. Do you have a favorite holiday?
When speaking of seasons, this often naturally comes up anyway!
5. Who are the most important people in your life and why?
This is the fast track to understanding who they value and why.
6. If we could be and do anything right now, what would you choose?
Are they imaginative? Will they come up with something awesome? Or will they simply reveal a place and activity they love?
7. Who are the three people you admire the most?
This will reveal what kind of characteristics they value in a person.
8. If you could visit any period in history, which period would you choose?
Are they a secret fan of Shakespeare, or would they like to meet Voltaire? Or maybe they just want to see how people dressed in 1958…
9. If you hosted a dinner party for ten people and could choose any ten people through history, who would you choose?
Would they invite Tesla and Branson, or Da Vinci and Buddha? Perhaps Jesus and Marilyn Monroe too…?
10. Name three of your favorite movies and include at least one which somehow changed your life, or your point of view.
Just as with books, you can tell a lot about a person from what movies they like. And sometimes you find that a movie truly has changed someone’s life a lot.
11. Where’s the one (or more) place(s) on Earth you feel the most secure and/or relaxed?
As humans we tend to have spots we find throughout life where we discover serenity and which we keep returning to. Sometimes it’s our grandparents place, sometimes it’s a beach in the middle of nowhere.
12. If you were to go traveling for a year, where would you go?
What are their dreams when it comes to traveling?
13. Are you considering moving to another city, or country? If so, why are you drawn to that place?
What are their plans for the future? And what kind of places make them tick?
14. What’s the best party you ever attended?
Are they a dinner party kind of person, or someone who loves raves?
15. What kind of dates do you enjoy? What’s the kind of date that really makes you go “wow”?
It’s always good knowing this when planning dates in the future…
16. What do you consider some of the best romantic gestures?
Dating and/or being in a relationship with someone is a lot about figuring out what their romantic needs are. After all, most people are happier when they get to live their romantic dreams…
17. What makes you feel loved?
What is it that makes you feel loved by others? Is it when they give you compliments, or spend quality time with you? Is it when you receive gifts, or when they touch you? Or maybe it’s when they do the dishes for you…
18. What do you consider to be four cornerstones of a great relationship with a friend or lover?
What’s important to them when it comes to relationships? Is it to hear from someone everyday, or knowing someone will do their part of the housework? Is it honesty, or emotional support?
19. What are some of your favorite childhood memories?
You can learn a lot about someone from their memories…
20. What are some of your worst memories?
Now this may not be a question for a first date, but it sure will tell you something about the things that molded them into being who they are today.
21. What are two romantic scenes in movies that you found to be, well, romantic? Truly romantic.
More romantic clues…
22. What’s a recurring dream you have?
Time to dig into their subconscious a bit?
23. What’s the best dream you’ve ever had when sleeping?
Uncovering more of their subconscious…
24. What’s one dream you have that you truly want to fulfill?
Dreams are a big part of who we are. If you can support someone in their dreams, you’re a lot likelier to stay together as a couple, so it’s important to know up front. Besides, who doesn’t like getting inspired hearing someone talking about their dreams?!
25. What kind of architectural and interior design styles do you like?
Are they into minimalism or baroque?
26. Who do you think is the most interesting person alive?
Who intrigues them?
27. If you were to make a film, what would it be about?
What’s the one story they’re longing to tell?
28. What’s your favorite dish to cook or cake to bake?
What do they like eating? And are they any good in the kitchen?
29. What frightens you?
Are they scared of the dark, or spiders?
30. Are there any world cuisines you’re particularly fond of?
Do they prefer Thai over Mexican?
31. Do you want to one day have a family?
Kind of essential to know!
32. Do you believe in the supernatural?
Have they ever seen a ghost? Or maybe they’ve experienced telepathy?
33. What do you think happens when you meet someone and instantly like them? What is it you fall for in those very first moments?
Do they believe in love at first sight? Or is it just attraction at first sight?
34. What are three of the top things on your bucket list?
Do they really wanna go swim with dolphins, or help kids in Africa? Do they dream of learning to paint, or making a movie? Do they want to start a business, or visit the Alps? What would they really love?
35. What’s your favorite brand of chocolate?
Now there’s a real deal breaker!
36. What are three random things that make you happy?
Is it the sunrise, or Egyptian cotton sheets?
37. If you could go on vacation for a month or so, doing anything you please, what would it be?
Would they hike the Camino de Santiago as a pilgrim, or hang out in the desert in Arizona?
38. Did you have any idols growing up, be it Superman, or Michael Jackson?
Who influenced them when they were a kid? Are they still wanting to be a little bit like the person they admired then (or at least the traits they admired in them – chances are they were never all that into MJ’s nose…).
39. Have you ever read a book that changed your life in any way, big or small?
Did anyone ever manage to inspire them that much?
40. What impresses you in people?
Do they get really impressed when people are always on time, or when they’re kind to the waiters?
41. Do you have any annoying habits?
Good to know…and usually something that cracks you both up when talking about it, because most of us have a funny habit, or two.
42. Have you ever had any really strange co-incidence happening to you?
From picking up the phone and finding that the person you intended to dial was already on the other end, to not getting on the plane that crashed…people experience weird things.
43. Have you ever dreamt a dream at night that foreshadowed events to come?
Again, diving into their psyche…and discovering if they have a bit of a sixth sense, perhaps!
44. What turns you on?
Well, eventually you gotta ask!
45. What’s the quirkiest/kookiest thing about you?
This will probably make you both smile!
46. Do you believe in forgiveness?
Now we’re getting deep…good to know too in case you finish the Ben and Jerry’s when they’re out one night…
47. What are three really good qualities you possess?
Not only will you find out, they might even be forced to give themselves some credit for who they are!
48. Do you like to dance? If so, why?
For us that like to dance, this is a very revealing question…
49. What’s one thing about you your mother doesn’t know?
Now you might end up finding out something really weird…or boring.
50. Favorite flavor ice cream?
This is a seriously revealing question. Especially if you want to keep the ice cream tub to yourself…
51. Have you ever been in a situation that made you really scared?
Not a question for a first date, but it’s really good to know these things so you can be the support needed in case something triggers that fear again.
52. Do you remember one teacher from school who was like a walking talking caricature?
This usually leads to a lot of giggles! Unfortunately, or fortunately, some people behave like characters straight out of a novel!
53. If you were to give yourself three challenges right now, what would they be?
Ah, interesting… You’ll find out what they think they need to challenge themselves in, which will likely show both their fears and their dreams.
54. What’s one fairy tale you really loved as a kid?
This might just give you some clues as to their personality as an adult…
55. Who are some people you find funny?
A shared sense of humor and all that…
56. What was one of the most embarrassing moments of your life that you can stand revealing to me?
Usually embarrassing moments become really funny when we look back…
57. What band, or artist, would you like to go backstage with?
What’s their taste in music? And what musicians do they find interesting?
58. What celebrity most remind you of your mother?
Come on, you gotta be prepared!
59. When was the last time you laughed till you cried and why?
What makes them laugh and what makes them happy?
60. What are three things that make you happy?
This is something you need to remember when coming up with dates and spending time with them in the future!
When you ask someone questions try to mix it up – some fun, some deep, some easy to answer ones. Also, if you want someone to fall in love with you, eye contact is important. There was a study that showed putting complete strangers together to answer a set of questions, ending with looking each other in the eye for four minutes led to some interesting butterflies in the belly. Adrenaline kicks also make people fall in love, so you know, go paragliding or zip lining first!
Lastly, remember to stay away from too much religion and politics on the first date…leave those questions for the second or third one…and be open minded when you ask them. Find out rather than judge. There’s usually a reason why we have the beliefs we do.