The worst thing about liking someone is the fact that you never know how they feel about you. You can put your everything into trying to show them that you like them and that you’re a great person to be with, only to have your feelings crushed because they just don’t feel that way about you.
Rejection is by far the hardest part about love. Putting yourself out there only to find out that someone wants to be your friend and nothing more is discouraging and heartbreaking. It’s something difficult to deal with, but it’s also something we’ve all been through before.
The one thing that’s the hardest to figure out, however, is how they really feel about you. Is this guy crushing on you too and he’s just playing it cool? Or does he really not see you as more than a friend?
If you want to know if he just wants to be friends, this is how to tell. And if he really only likes you as a friend, here’s what you can do about that.
Signs He Just Wants to be Friends
Guys aren’t the best at telling you how it is or how they feel. Honestly, their actions speak much louder than words. Here’s how you can tell if he only sees you as a friend and nothing more.
- He Never Makes a Move
Some guys are really shy and will never make a move even if they’re in love with a girl. However, most guys will show signs that they’re also interested in you – especially if you’ve been putting out the vibe that you’re into him. That being said, if he’s not making any moves or acknowledging your advances, then he may just think of you as a friend and doesn’t want to pursue anything.
Just be sure that this is a long-term observation since some guys really won’t make moves because they’re just shy. If it’s been a while and you’re still not getting anything from him, then he may just think of you as a friend.
- You Always Initiate the Conversation
If someone doesn’t like you in a romantic way, they’re probably not going to want to talk to you all the time. They’re more than happy to just chat here and there and won’t go out of their way to start a conversation with you. That means if a guy only wants to be friends with you, he won’t be the one starting the conversations most of the time unless he needs something from you.
- He Talks About Other Girls Around You
This is a HUGE sign that he’s definitely not into you. The fact that a guy feels like he can talk about other girls around you just proves that he isn’t concerned about how you feel regarding them and other girls. It also means that he really hasn’t picked up on the hints that you like him, either. Just keep in mind that if he’s crushing on other girls and telling you about them, he doesn’t see you in a romantic way.
- He Doesn’t Talk About Stuff That’s Important to Him
If someone is thinking about being intimate with you and in a serious relationship, they’ll test the waters by talking about things that are important to them. They’ll talk about deeper things and open up about their own values, goals, and morals. If your conversations with a guy are only surface deep, then he may only like you as a friend and nothing more. If he doesn’t trust you enough or feel deeply enough about you to open up and be vulnerable, then he just sees you as friends.
- He Only Invites You to Hang Out in a Group
His invites are never just for the two of you to hang out. Whenever he invites you to come join him and hang out, it’s always with a bunch of other people in your typical friend group. A guy who doesn’t want to be alone with you is usually a guy who doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. And if he’s the type to only include you to hang out as a group invitation while he’s talking to a lot of people at once, then he only wants to be friends.
- He Refers to You As His “Friend”
If he says things like, “you’re a good friend,” or “I’m glad we’re friends,” or even, “You’re the best friend I’ve had,” then he only wants to be friends. Guys who like girls don’t just go around throwing out the “friend” word for fear that the girl won’t think they like them. So if he is referring to you in this way, it’s probably because he only sees you as a friend. If you’ve been dropping hints that you like him and he keeps saying these things, it’s because he’s noticed and is trying to nicely tell you that he isn’t into you.
- He Jokes About Guys You Should Date
Or he’s completely serious about it. If he points out other guys that you should date or even introduces you to other guys that he thinks you’ll like, he definitely just wants to be friends. If he liked you, he’d be trying to steer you away from other guys and away from dating anyone else. The fact that he’s urging you to go out with other people just proves that he just wants to be friends.
Bonus: He Tells You
This is an obvious sign. If you’ve confessed your feelings for him and he comes back and tells you that he only likes you as a friend, then that’s exactly what he means. Don’t twist his words or use any other excuse. He just wants to be friends. You have to realize that he means what he says.
What to do About it
So basically you’ve just confirmed that the person you’re head over heels for only thinks of you as a friend. Well, that’s a real bummer. But instead of getting really upset about it, here’s what you can do instead.
- Respect His Feelings
You can’t change his mind. You can’t try to convince him to feel differently about you. In fact, that will probably just make things worse. You have to respect his feelings for you and let it go. If you argue this or get offended, it could mean the end of your friendship.
- Get Some Clarity
If you want to understand why he doesn’t see you as more than a friend, just ask him. He may beat around the bush and try to say something in a way that isn’t hurtful, but just demand a real answer. Tell him that as a friend, he should do that for you. Gaining some clarity can help you move on and understand where he’s coming from.
- Distance Yourself a Bit
Being friends with someone who doesn’t feel the same about you can be hard. You’re in such close proximity so often that your heart doesn’t have time to mend. So give the two of you some distance and cut back on seeing him so much. This will not only help you, but it can also help him see how valuable you are in his life.
- Nurture the Friendship
If you can’t be more than friends, then just settle for being great friends. You can be close friends without crossing that line and you should work on nurturing the relationship and making it strong and healthy. Perhaps, with time, he’ll come to have romantic feelings for you.
- Change Your Focus
Stop focusing so much on the relationship. Take up a hobby and work really hard on being amazing at it. When you shift your focus like this, it’ll help you get over him a lot faster and it may even surprise – and impress – him to see you working so hard on something.
- Become a Better You
Work on bettering yourself. Volunteer somewhere, learn a new language, go to the gym and get really fit. Focusing on yourself will help you forget about your feelings for him and help you feel like a more well-rounded person.
- Learn From the Experience
Truth be told, it’s not an easy thing to go through. Luckily, you can turn this into a life lesson. Instead of getting upset and shutting out everyone you care about and basically saying “screw it” to life, you can learn from the experience.
- Remember That He’s Not the Only Guy Out There
It may seem like the end of the world when a guy you really like just doesn’t feel the same about you, but if you put things into perspective, he’s just one guy. There are so many others out there and you should wait for someone who falls just as deeply for you as you have for him.
- Remember That His Opinion Doesn’t Determine Your Worth
Don’t forget how great you are. It’s easy to start thinking negatively of yourself when someone confesses that they don’t like you. It’s just a fact of life that other people aren’t always going to reciprocate your feelings and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re any less of a great person.
- Find a New Crush
Normally I don’t condone rebounding with someone else, but sometimes in this case, it helps. Finding someone else to start crushing on can help you forget all about the guy who only likes you as a friend. And who knows, maybe you’ll like this other person even more.
Don’t let a guy who only likes you as a friend get you down. There are tons of things you can do about it so you can still find love.