So you’ve met a woman you want. Only trouble is, now that you’re spending time with her, how do you make sure she’ll end up wanting you and not put you to the friend zone? Below are 15 tips for how to make her attracted to you, given your personalities are a match!
A woman likes a confident man. So stand tall and stand proud.
When you sit chatting to her, notice your body. You can practice doing that at any hour. You’ll be surprised to find you do a lot of things you had no idea you were doing. The important thing is to start claiming your space. Really do stand (and sit) tall.
Also, notice that you don’t start to, say, drum the table when you get uncomfortable. There’s nothing quite as off-putting as a guy who is constantly moving – it makes him come across as insecure.
You’ll notice that when you establish report with someone, you’ll match and mirror each other – copy each other’s movements. You can do that on purpose too to make someone feel more comfortable with you.
Body language is also about your face – smile whenever appropriate and look her in the eye when talking to her. Having your eyes dart all over the place will, again, make you come across as nervous, uncomfortable, or simply uninterested. Also, looking her in the eye will establish a connection.
Lastly, touch her when making a point. Don’t start touching her thigh or anything that personal too soon, but put your hand on her arm to emphasize something you were saying, or gently punch/slap her arm when teasing her. The butt slaps you can save for later…
Show You Have a Life
If you are passionate about what you do and lead a happy and balanced life (i.e. you care for your spirit, mind and body) that will make you attractive. Contrary to popular belief it’s not all about how successful you are in the terms of society, but rather how successful you are at being happy and secure in yourself. If you’re secure it doesn’t mean that you know you’ll make 2 million dollars tomorrow, true security comes from knowing you can handle whatever life throws your way.
Don’t Fall Too Soon
There’s a popular belief that women who like men who are hard to get. It’s a bit of a myth – what women like is a man who doesn’t appear to fall head over heels with her straight away. Why? Because if you throw yourself at her feet, what standards do you have? Do you allow yourself to fall for any woman? Don’t you respect yourself more than that? Because if you don’t, she won’t either.
If you answer every text straight away, or are available for every date, it seems as though either you don’t have anything better to do, or you’re so desperate you don’t care to check if she’s the right one for you, you just rush in anyway. Either way it’s off-putting.
You need to make her work for it a bit, just like she needs to make you work for it, because it challenges you both to show you’re worthy of the other. And we appreciate what we work for a lot more than the things we don’t work for.
Paying attention means when you’re with her you pay attention to what she’s saying and doing. Often when we speak to people we’re so caught up wondering what they think about us that we forget to actually pay attention to what they are saying and doing and therefore, funnily enough, we miss what they’re thinking.
When you’re on a date and see you said something that makes her pull away, then you quickly have to come up with something that will win her back over. If you see she’s tensing up because you’re coming on too strong, then you cool it down. By observing her you get clues as to what to do.
Also, by paying attention to what she’s saying, you’ll win her trust as she’ll understand you care to find out about her. Get curious about who she really is.
There’s another form of listening that’s important – listening to her problems. When she comes home after a long day and tells you exactly what happened, she doesn’t necessarily want you to run to her workplace and tell her boss that he’s a pain in the butt – she just want to let steam out. She wants someone to listen and care. Someone who refills her batteries by loving her. She wants to hear she’s wonderful and that she’ll be able to handle it.
If she wants your opinion on something, she’ll ask for it. She might very well want that. The problem is that usually she’ll want to recharge her emotional batteries and if you, without any kind of emotion, start breaking down the problem and offer solutions, she’ll think you unemotional and unsupportive. You can offer advice, but also offer emotional support. A hug and a kind word goes a long way in most instances.
Be a Gentleman
It may be old fashioned to hold doors and carry bags, but most women still see it as a sign of chivalry. Unless she’s a radical feminist who thinks she needs to prove herself by showing she knows how to open a door, she’ll be flattered if you do it for her!
Care for Her
Offer to give her a back rub, cook her a meal, or pour her a glass of wine after a long day… Some men think that it’s all about taking her to the best restaurants and so forth, but usually these small acts of caring go a very long way. They satisfy an emotional need a fancy restaurant doesn’t. Whilst she likes seeing you’re trying to impress her, these everyday acts of caring are just as impressive, if not more so.
Ask Interesting Questions
Don’t be one of the guys who only ever asks “how was your day?” or “how are you?” in texts and conversations. There are plenty of interesting questions to ask someone to get to know them and/or get to know what they’re going through right now. Many people make the mistake of thinking that once they know someone, they know all about them. That’s how relationships go stagnate and, often, die.
Keep Your Eyes on Her
If you’re out having dinner together and you keep looking at hot women walking by, seeing what’s happening at a nearby table and so forth…she thinks you don’t care. Discipline yourself to pay attention, because really it’s a form of caring. Being around someone who’s only half there doesn’t make for a great evening. It refers back to the point I made about listening, but many people are unaware where they have their eyes when listening. Become aware.
Dress the Part
Show that you care by dressing up for dates. She’ll appreciate it. She’ll also probably find you a lot more attractive.
Also remember that even if you think you should just be yourself and clothes don’t matter, they reflect who you are. And I bet who you are is someone who gives a damn. So whilst the style should be uniquely yours, do put some effort into it.
If there’s no honesty it’s not real. What’s more, she will learn not to trust you, which will either make her unhappy, or make her leave.
We may think that it’s obvious that we date someone whom we like, but make it a sport to point out something you like about her at least a couple of times every week. Compliment her looks, the way she kisses, how attractive she is, how good she is at something, personality traits, etc. You have to make it holistic and not just compliment one part of who she is.
Play with Innuendo
They say relationships are friendships with sex and it’s true. To avoid landing in the “friend zone” or get out of it, you need to make her think of you sexually. To do that you have to flirt. Tease her. Challenge her. Play with innuendo. If she plays along, then she might be interested. If she doesn’t, you have to face that she just wants to be friends.
A woman likes a man who knows what he wants. Doubts, being unable to make up your mind…it’s unattractive. That said, you aren’t supposed to dictate what the two of you do and so forth either, but if you’re in charge of the date night, don’t ask her what to do. If you haven’t asked the right questions, or paid enough attention to find out what kind of a date she’d like to go on, then you aren’t doing a good enough job. You may think you don’t have enough experience coming up with dates and so forth, but all you really need to do is think of what she likes. What does she consider romantic? What hobbies does she have? What makes her happy? What places does she like? What kinds of foods does she like? Ask her so you get to know her and also can put together epic dates.