It can be quite challenging to break the ice and talk to your crush. The biggest challenge that most dudes face when trying to start a conversation with a girl is on how to create a good impression. When you approach your crush, you are giving her an opportunity to evaluate you and this provides her with the influence and power in that situation. This is on top of the fact that it can cause anxiety to talk to someone you don’t know. However, it is still possible to approach and talk to a girl in a persuasive way. Here are a few tips on how to go about it.
Remove the fear of rejection
The fear of rejection will only make things worse for you. You need to convince yourself that even if you are rejected, there are still other potential girls that you can date depending on your taste. This means that even if you are rejected, this doesn’t mean that you have come to the end of your dating life. However, when you focus on the fear of rejection, this will only serve to reduce your confidence level. When you do away with the fear of rejection, you give room for the possibility of getting accepted.
Understand the secrets to confidence
As you approach the girl, it is important to exude confidence. Ensure that you speak to her without mumbling and fumbling whether you are nervous or not. As you speak to her, make sure that you are looking at her in the face. When you have confidence, it shows that you understand who you are and also send the message that you have interest in the girl.
Do not be afraid to say something stupid. The most important thing is to ensure that you keep engaging her and feel alright with the occasional story, exchanges and silence that will turn out to be awkward. Ensure that you remain relaxed, positive and happy. With time she will enjoy speaking to you. Avoid being too self-depreciating even if you think that this will make her laugh. It is also worth noting that you do show your confidence by bragging. It is possible to speak about your love for the baseball without saying that you are the basketball star. A good way that you can show that you are confidence is by laughing at yourself as it is an indication that you do not take yourself so seriously.
After you have worked on your confidence level, the next step will be to introduce yourself. A good idea would be to tell her your name and ask her something that the two of you have in common such as a class that both of you share. After she has responded and given you her name, shake her hand in a light way. Ensure that you don’t feel awkward about it. While it may feel a bit odd, that’s the mature way of introducing yourself. After the girl has given you her name, call her by name several times so that you can show her that you are interested in what she is saying.
Don’t try to fake it. Instead loosen up and ensure that the girl understand the kind of person that you are. If you happen to be a funny guy, why don’t you crack her up? If you are the serious type, talk to her about topics that are meaningful and interesting to you. While it is good to find out more about her, you should also let her know about you. This is all part of being yourself. However, you must avoid talking about yourself during the entire time with her. Show that you are genuinely interested in her answer.
Compliment her in an original manner
This is where creativity is needed. If she is beautiful, there are high chances that she has been told that by very many dudes. When you compliment her using her beauty, she will just add you to the list of dudes who have told her so. This is why you will need an original compliment that will spark her interest. You can approach her after she has laughed and tell her that you love the way she laughs. However, it is a good idea to ensure that you have something funny to tell her so that she laughs again. If you have to complement her on her physical appearance, you should complement her hair, dressing or in the most intimate case, her eyes.
Be a gentleman
It is important to ensure that you act as a gentleman. While there is a notion out there that girls love bad boys, the odds will favor you when you show her that you are that nice guy. This is because there are chances that the dudes who approached her in the past weren’t that classy. You don’t have to be crude or crass and you need to show her respect.
A smile works magic. It is an indication that you enjoy the conversation and can make the girl to continue talking. While it isn’t necessarily to smile throughout the conversation, you will need to do so at the right moments. This will ensure that she feels appreciated when she say something that is funny. Smiling also helps to put her at ease. But if you smile all the time, you will appear nervous.
Avoid personal stuff
If you already know a girl, your next goal will be to know her at a more personal way. However, this is not the right time to tell her that you are grieving the death of your grandma or to describe the rashes on your private part in details. A good idea would be to select some light topics that would not be offensive so that the girl doesn’t feel uncomfortable as you try to know one another. However, the fact that you can pick a light topic isn’t a ticket to choose boring topics. Speaking about the weather will not do you any good just because you are trying to avoid issues that are personal. A good idea would be to let the conversation flow by itself. You may be amazed at how fast the two of you start opening up to one another.
Find common ground
Ensure that the conversation moves in a direction that the two of you care about. It could be an obsession with a movie or football match. However, you don’t have to ask her about her favorite music or even hobbies so that you can find a common ground. All you need to do is to let the conversation flow naturally and see if there is something that the two of you like. Ensure that you ask her some open-minded questions so that the conversation can keep going. Avoid any moments that will cause some awkward silence. Even if you feel that the two of you have nothing in common, you don’t have to despair. At last you will be able to find something in common that will keep the conversation going.
Make eye contact
If you want the girl to feel special, you will need to maintain eye contact when speaking to her. It is not necessary to stare into her the eyes; the most important thing is to ensure that you give her all the attention she needs rather than looking down into your phone. Once in a while, you can break the eye contact with the goal of keeping everything interesting rather than showing you are bored.
Show interest in her opinions and thoughts
When the girl is talking, listen keenly. Avoid interrupting her with your opinions but allow her to speak and share in her thoughts. A good way of showing that you are listening is by nodding and saying yes/no at the right time. This is on top of answering her questions. Ask for her opinion on something that you like such as your favorite movie, music or fashion trends. While it is good to know about her opinion, it is advisable to steer away from religious or political topics. This is unless the two of you share the same faith and are committed to the faith. For instance, if you meet her in church, there is no harm in asking her views about the sermon of the day.
Ask about studies
If you ask her about her favorite part of algebra, this will only serve to bore her. However, it is not a bad idea to ask about her favorite subject or favorite teacher. You can then let the question lead to what she would like to become when she is older. Rather than just nodding and telling her that it’s interesting, ask her the reason why she loves that subject or even why she would like to become a nurse. It is also worth noting that there are girls who have little or no interest on the subject of school. Therefore, when she shows lack of interest in the subject, it is important to just move on. You should also avoid making her to feel as if you are interrogating her. A good way of doing that is to also talk about your favorite subjects.
Avoid teasing her too early
It is not a good idea to tease girls about those things that they take seriously like intelligence, looks or weight. Also avoid making comments that the girl can take wrongly especially during the early days of your relationship. Once you badly offend a girl, you can be assured that you will never see her again. You should only tease her when the two of you are free with one another and you are sure that she will understand that you were just joking. For instance, if she loves teasing you, it is a good idea to tease her back.
Girls will love it when you make them laugh. Therefore, a good way of getting into her heart is showing your wit as well as sense of humor. The only important thing to do here is to avoid being too raunchy or being inappropriate at the start. For instance, if she makes a joke, fire one back at her. A good idea would be to crack jokes of the things around the two of you. If the girl doesn’t laugh at your jokes, don’t get discouraged; Just believe that you will do better next time.
Do not pursue her relentlessly
If the girl doesn’t show interest in getting pursued, then you should avoid pursuing her relentlessly. There is no point in complementing her a million times when she has no interest in getting complemented. Once you stop caring much about how to interest her, you will end up finding that she is actually showing more interest in you.
A girl will know when you are scared, sweaty or nervous and she will also feel uncomfortable. In case you feel nervous, you need to speak slowly and focus on the conversations rather than each word that you speak. Do not fidget or look around the place. Take some deep breath and slow down in your movement and speech. Consider the best thing that can happen rather than the worst case scenario. If it is painfully obvious that you are nervous, try to create a small joke that can help to lighten up the moment. You can also take with you a bottle of water or soda that you can sip from time to time to calm down and sit it as a way of taking some small breaks to calm you down.
Avoid lying as a way of impressing her
It is important to speak to her in an honest way and avoid stretching the truth. You can get naturally inclined to add some embellishments to the conversation as this will only cause you more trouble than what is worth. Consider a situation where the two of you become really close and she gets to know that you cheated her. Not only will this be quite embarrassing but she may end up losing her trust in you. She may not even notice at first but other people will notice that you are putting an act while around her in a bid to impress her. This is on top of the fact that the lies are likely to catch up with you if you are planning to see her again.
Most people do not love hanging out around negative people. They prefer to stick around people who have look at things positively and make them laugh. In case you feel grumpy, this may not be the best day of approaching a girl. It is important to speak about the people and things that help you stay focused and happy or even the good experiences that the two of you have had in the past. However, if you would like to keep the conversation flowing, you will need to set a positive tone.
Even if you had a bad day in traffic, you can think about the chance you got to listen to the audio bible while in the car. You can also tell her that you got an opportunity to see a cute family of deer in the slow traffic. If the girl asks you about a certain musician who you do not love, you can say something like “He is a good musician even though he is not my favorite”. Avoid ranting about how you hate something when speaking to a girl.
Ask for her contacts
If you feel that the conversation with a girl is headed somewhere, you should ask for her phone number, email or even her Facebook profile. If you would like to ask her out, you can openly ask her about it. If you would like to get her contacts, you can say something like. “I have to go, can we pick the conversation some other time. I can call you so that we can talk.’ When you say so, you can be assured that she will answer in the affirmative without a second thought.
If you are the shy type, a good idea would be to get her email or Facebook and send to her something that is quite goofy such as an URL to a funny comic or even a joke forum thread. The good thing with this option is that it can be less awkward as compared to speaking on telephone. Not only will it help her to notice more of you but it will create for you a better chance of seeing her again.
Ensure that you ask for her contacts when the conversation is going well and you have some fun things that you are speaking about. Avoid waiting to a point where the conversation will drag itself so as to ask for her contact information. This can make her less inclined to want to see you again.