I Got Her Number: Now What?


Congratulations! You’ve gotten her number. Good job! Now that victory is yours, it’s time to carefully consider what to do next. It can be intimidating sending out that very first text or making that first call, but this guide is here to help you through every single step to help make it easier than ever. There’s no doubt you are excited that you finally snagged those digits and you want to send out that first sentence faster than ever, but WAIT! Think it through. Yes, you may have made a great impression in person. Well, good enough to get her cell number, but you need to make another very crucial impression now. This one is equally important, if not more than, the first.

The impression that you are going to make with that first contact electronically is going to be something that she is going to weigh on heavily when it comes to deciding if she wants to respond to you or not. Let’s face it- No one wants a crude text or call from some guy they just met. So, keep your hormones under control and as they say: Play it cool. Confidence is essential, but you don’t want to seem like you have an over-inflated ego either. Arrogance is never a good look on anyone. You may have thought that getting her number was the golden ticket to perfect communication from here on out. Wrong.  It’s going to take a little bit more than that to get a real bond going between you and her.

So, The Question Is: Where Do You Start?

Easy. You start by taking a minute to understand the different forms of communication there are when talking to her. These forms are (from most personal to least personal): In person, face-time, phone call, text message, Facebook, and email. Now, if you can get her to meet with you in person again, you’re solid, obviously. However, the next most intimate form would be face-timing with her. Face-timing let’s you talk face to face without being together. After that comes talking voice to voice with a phone call. Face-timing isn’t recommended for first contact, as it may make her shy away. Then you have your standard text, which is getting down to least personal, because there is no personality to it. Texts can seem emotionless and vague. Facebook messages are pretty horrible on the scale of intimacy due to the fact your messages can easily be avoided or missed. Email, however, is the worse form of communication when it comes to making a new connection. Really, though, who uses email to talk these days?

It’s up to you how you want to proceed to communicate with her, but it is suggested to use her number to either call her or text her to set up another time to meet in person. If you can’t accomplish that or she has a different preference, go ahead and try the other forms that were listed.

Although you will consider each option, more than likely the communication between the two of you will inevitably land back in the text messaging department. Text messages are the most popular choice for talking to someone these days. Even though it’s hard to portray emotion through text, it’s the best way to see if the number she gave you is a legitimate working phone number.

When Should You Text Her?

The general rule for contacting a woman you just met is to wait until the next day. You don’t want to communicate too early. This can ultimately drive her away because she thinks you’re a little over-eager. It’s also acceptable if  you want to wait two days to leave some anticipation. However, going any longer than that may lead her to forget about you or become disinterested. So after those twenty four to forty eight hours are over, when should you send her a shout out?

This is a tricky question that only you can answer. That means critically thinking about where and when you met. It also means that you should have been paying attention to what she said when she gave you her number in the first place. Did she say anything about the best time to contact her? Had you heard her mention anything about her work schedule or when she prefers to talk to people? If so, take those things into consideration. If she mentioned she’s a waitress that works nights, it may be the best for you to contact her in the evenings. She may be busy at night or sleeping in the morning.

What Should You Say?

Now that you’ve decided the perfect time, you may be wondering just what to say when you send that first message. Don’t worry, here’s an example to follow:

“Hey, ____, It’s _____. It was really great meeting you the other day. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you have been?”


“Hey, ____, it’s _____ from the bar the other night. I was hoping we could grab a coffee and get to know each other a little better.”

Just keep it simple.

Feel like adding a little humor? That’s definitely more than okay! But you want to keep it light and intriguing. Don’t go too far and don’t make it sound like some corny bait and hook line.

What Should You Not Do And Say?

You want to avoid sounding like you are desperate and you absolutely want to keep it polite. The goal is to keep it personal enough so she doesn’t sound like just another girl you’re hitting up. You don’t want to sound like a horn dog. Always use her name and you will definitely want to stay away from using pet names or cheesy pickup lines, at least for the first text. After the text has been sound out, all you can do it wait.

How long should you wait before you send another text?

Well, it’s not a great idea to send a double of the original text at all. However, if she hasn’t responded in twenty four hours, you can try to send another text. It could be that she was busy and just missed your text. Or she forgot to press send back on the keyboard (we’ve all done it, right?) and she needs another prompt to see that mistake. It’s safe to say you can give up on a conversation with her if she doesn’t respond back within another 24 hours.

How Long To Wait Before Calling Again?

We’ve discussed what to do if you send a text and don’t get a reply, but now it’s time to talk about what to do if you called her. It’s not going to be a good thing if you text AND call her, so try to stick to one method. When you call, make sure you leave a voicemail stating who you are. Turn the texts listed above into your voice message. Don’t forget to leave a callback number. Without stating who you are or leaving a message, she might just assume you are a telemarketer or some random person. No one calls unidentified numbers back.

If you call her and you don’t get a response within 24 hours, try and call her again once more before the 48 hour mark. If she doesn’t call you back, she’s definitely not interested. Beware: Leaving more than two missed calls that she hasn’t returned may make you look like a stalker.

At times you may call and she may respond to you through text message. This doesn’t mean all hope is lost or that she’s avoiding you. It could just mean she is shy or she doesn’t feel comfortable talking with someone who is practically a stranger on the phone. That’s okay! You can still text her back and establish a connection through text.

How To Know She Gave You The Right Number?

If she gave you a fake number, someone will either text you back telling you it’s the wrong number or an automated message will appear telling you the number isn’t valid. When you call there will be an automated message or dial tone signaling the line is not in service.  If that happens, it would be fairly sad, but sometimes it’s a harsh cold reality to face. However, if that doesn’t happen, keep reading to see what to do next.

What To Do When She Finally Responds?

Well, friend, it’s time to take things to the next level. This is your opportunity to set up another in-person meeting or, if you play your cards right, a full blown date. There may be a chance she only wants to meet briefly to get to know you, but if she’s drawn to you by your first text or call, you may be lucky enough to get her on a real date. So, how do you do that?

Once you two have been talking consistently for a day or two, you can proceed to ask her to meet with you again. It’s important you wait a day or two so that she sees you want to get to know her a little bit. Rushing her might only end with you disconnecting. When you two are talking be sure to ask her a lot of questions about herself. You want to make her feel like you are extremely interested in everything about her. This will make her more  inclined to want to talk in person. Let her also know a little bit about you, but don’t overpower the conversation. At this stage it’s literally all about her.

Flirt with her slightly, but don’t be creepy or sexual towards her. It’s way too early for that type of wordplay. Keep it flowing and easy going so that you don’t intimidate her. Once you two have gotten to know each other over a few days, now is your chance to ask her if she would like to go to a movie or for a cup of coffee. You can choose the setting.

You got her number and now you know what to do with it! Although this process can take some time and effort, it’s totally worth it in the end if you really like her!


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