14 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend

Everyone needs laughter in their life. The more we laugh together, the more we want to be together, because we’re having fun. So you definitively want your man to have some fun with you. Try doing activities you both love, which make you laugh. Tease each other and play – have pillow fights and tickle each other. Watch comedies together and attend stand-up nights, or go see a funny play. Lastly, crack a joke ever so often. If a situation arises that you can joke about, do so. Also learn a couple of jokes, so when things happen that remind you of them, tell them!

Funny Things to Say to Your Boyfriend

The Breakfast Joke

“20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die!” – Bill Murray

This joke only works if your guy is familiar with the people in the joke, but it’s definitively a good one if he is! Perfectly told when handing him a bacon sandwich in the morning!

The Music Joke

“Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn’t wave back… So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.” – Will Ferrell

If you hear a Taylor Swift song you can joke about how all her lyrics are about her exes. You can also say something about hoping that your man will behave, or you will start writing terrible songs about him…

If, on the other hand, you hear a song by a rapper, the below line is perfect.

“Are there any medium rappers? They’re always big or lil.” – Unknown

If it’s Snoop Dogg: “Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzel.”

When Speaking About the Gym

“I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.” – Unknown

Ever had a dreadful pass at the gym, or heard your guy moan about going to the gym? Maybe it’s time to perk him up with a joke about the gym? That joke isn’t very motivational though, so just make sure to say something inspiring too. After all, you want him to keep going to the gym so that you have a six pack to come home to…

When You Have to Explain How You Got a Parking Ticket 

If you come home one day after getting a parking ticket and you man asks how your day was, just tell him:

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.” – Tim Vine

Isn’t that a lovely way of saying you’ve had a lousy day where you got a parking ticket?

Funny Things to Say to Your Boyfriend

I Love You

If you ever feel like making a joke when telling your partner you love him, just say “I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.” This is especially good if you know he loves your butt! This would probably be more suitable in a text, or card.

If Your Friend’s Had a Baby

If a friend of yours has had a baby and you’re looking at the pictures on Facebook, you can always make a joke about it: “I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.” – Will Ferrell

Just be sure not to make this joke if your boyfriend just had a niece/nephew, or a close friend of his had a baby, and he is oohing and aahing about the photos himself. If, on the hand, a lot of your friends have had kids lately and you’re both getting tired of complimenting new babies, then this is the perfect joke!

Bruce Lee Movies

If you have a movie night with your boyfriend and you’ve opted to watch a Bruce Lee flick the below joke is a good one!

You: What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

Boyfriend: I don’t know?

You: Wataaaaaaah!

Of course this joke gets better if you do a Bruce Lee impersonation as you say “Wataaaaah!”

When You’ve Had Enough of Christmas Shopping

Ever felt tired of Christmas shopping? Maybe when going from shop to shop with your boyfriend, getting to the end of the day and feeling tired? And being generally tired of the more capitalistic aspects of Christmas?

“The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.”

There you have it. That’s why millions of people think they have to buy expensive Christmas gifts instead of small, well thought out pieces.

Funny Things to Say to Your Boyfriend

When Your Boyfriend Comes Home Angry with Someone

You know those days when your boyfriend comes home upset about something someone has said, or done, or he gets upset whilst you’re in the room if he’s on the phone with him? Those are the exact days when he needs to know that arguing with fools, is foolish.

“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

Just be sure to put it forward in a nice manner, so he doesn’t think you’re being condescending towards him!

The Evening News 

The evening news are sometimes so shockingly horrible it feels like you need something to light up the conversation with.

“Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.”

“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” – José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

“Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?” – Unknown

After the recent elections and all the fighting going on between candidates you might want to make light of politics in general…

After a Bad Day at Work

You come home from work wanting to scream, cry and hug your boyfriend all at the same time. Rather than sounding like the world’s coming to an end (because it isn’t, you know life will go on and you will either get through this, or get a better job), to lighten the mood you say “I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.” At least you’re not just being angry and acting the victim of a terrible job, you’re mature enough to see the humor…

When Asked Why You Don’t Like Sports

“I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.” – Unknown

Well, there you have it. The answer. At least to why anyone with an IQ below zero would avoid sports. But it’s the perfect joke to make fun of yourself when explaining why you aren’t too into sports.

Funny Things to Say to Your Boyfriend

If You’re an Atheist

If asked why you’re an atheist just reply “Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” And you’re a good person who’s into not-for-profits, right?!

Funny Things to Say to Your BoyfriendWhen You Get PMS

You know that one day a month when you want to cry, scream, eat chocolate and generally tear the house down? Mhm. PMS. And your boyfriend probably ends up on the receiving end of your not so happy emotions sometimes, so why not tell him “PMS should just be called ovary-acting.” You can’t help your ovaries over reacting to everything can you? I mean that half smile your boyfriend gave you totally meant he is a disrespectful, mean, cheating, unintelligent, totally adorable, horrible, wonderful, stupid, intelligent, great guy, right?!


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