Should I Text Her?


The dreaded question after any first encounter with a beautiful woman: Should I text her? Debating whether or not to shoot out that first message might have you feeling a little neurotic at this point, we know, that’s why there’s a simple guide for you to follow to identify whether or not you should really send a text to her. Texting is a tricky art when it comes to the realm of pursuing someone. There’s a lot of ways to make mistakes and ultimately blow your shot, before you’ve really even had a chance to get to know her. Since there are so many different factors that you should take into consideration when it comes to the first time communicating with your crush, it’s  not always easy to know what to do. If you’re ready to move forward with your decision, but need a little guidance, here are some tips you can follow to help you know if you should text her or not:

What Are You Feeling?

The first thing to take into consideration when deciding the best time to text a girl is what your feelings for her are like. Do you actually like her a lot? Or are you just bored? What’s the deal with you and her overall? All of these things are important to ask yourself before you even think about punching her digits into your phone. If you’re feelings for her are strong and you’re truly interested in pursuing her, then yes start typing. However, if you don’t really feel invested in her, it’s best to just leave it be. Starting a relationship with someone you don’t really dig will only lead nowhere. It’s also just not one of the nicest things to do, if in the end she decides to  

How Do You Know Each Other?

You should be also thinking about how the two of you met in the first place. The factors of where and how long will ultimately help you decide the proper length time you should wait before you first text her. If the two of you met online through either dating sites or social media, then it’s certainly safe to say that you can text her almost anytime after the first initial online messages took place. There’s no need to worry too much about waiting because you’ve already opened up the doorway to quick digital communication. If you had met instead in person at an event, a shop or bar (or pretty much anywhere in person) then the wait time for the first text will vary. There should be a 12-24 hour wait after you first meet, so that way it doesn’t seem like you are too desperate. It also gives her time to decide if she’d like to text you first or not.

How Did You Get Her Number?

Did you get it off her facebook page or did you ask for it like a gentleman? You may appear very creepy if you’ve obtained her number in a way she was unaware of. Just heed that warning before you go through with texting her. However, if you received it from her or even through a friend with her permission, go ahead and text away.

Do You Know If She Wants You Text Her?

Has she openly asked for you to text her? If not there’s a good chance the text might be unwanted. It’s best to wait for an invitation to cross that boundary.

How Do You Think She Feels?

When you talked to/met her, what was she like towards you? Was she open and friendly or was she more distant? You’ve got to consider whether or not she might have feelings for you. If you got the all around vibe that she was just not that into you, you might want to find someone who is interested. However if she was warm towards you in her attitude, there’s a girl chance a random text from you might be welcome. If you didn’t get any feelings from her, then it’s really just up to you to decide what to do, but usually there will be a prominent vibe you can feel. Girls are very vivid with their emotions, you just have to pay attention!

What Type Of Girl Is She?

Maybe you don’t know her well enough to answer that. But, if you do know her a little bit or have spent some time around her, try to identify what kind of girl she is. Meaning, can you tell if she’s a bit more traditional? This will help you decide on how you should go about texting her. Depending on that, you don’t want to text her too early or too late. Also think back… Did she mention anything about texting her? Did she say anything about when? Wooing a girl isn’t easy if you aren’t sure what she prefers, right? So think your hardest to pin down all those little details to help you make your final decision on whether to text her or not.

What Are You Going To Say?

The last thing you want to do is make her scoff at your text when she first opens it. So think hard about what you’re planning on texting her. A lot of the time, a simple “hey” or “hello” will only get a shrug. It’s not a substantial enough conversation piece to get her invested. Bringing up something relevant to when you last saw each other or when you met might be a good idea. You can also say something clever or use humor. Be kind, be humble and steer clear of being dull! Always carefully plan out a thoughtful message before you just decide to dive right in. If you decide to text her, you won’t want to make a fool out of yourself right away.

Have You Had Previous Relations?

Let’s say this isn’t a girl you just met yesterday, but a girl you have already hooked up with. Now you might be asking yourself if you should initiate contact once again. If it’s the day after, it’s a good rule of thumb to wait at least 5-10 hours. Text her too soon and you risk seeming a little too clingy. Text her too late and you might as well say goodbye to ever hooking up again. We can’t vouch for every girl, but most of the time waiting too long can result in her loss of interest.

What Comes After The First Text?

If you’ve finally decided to send out that text, now you might be wondering what to do next. Quit worrying about when she’ll text back, it’ll happen. Refrain from sending another text, even if you feel like she’s taking way too long to respond to you. Being impatient could blow your chances in the end. She may just be busy or not have her phone. Try to avoid making assumptions, as that can lead you to sometimes send out texts that seem resentful or annoyed. That would definitely not make a good first impression.

What If She Doesn’t Respond?

If your inbox is still empty, don’t panic. Remember to be patient, as you have no idea what she is doing or why she hasn’t sent a text back. However, it’s also important to know when to give up. If it’s been a day, it’s okay to send a second text to see if maybe she just overlooked the first one. If she ends up not responding the second text after the first 24 hours, it’s safe to say she isn’t interested in talking to you. Make sure you introduce yourself in the first text, because she might not recognize the number.

What To Do When She Responds

Yay! You’ve made it to the part where you’ve gotten that awaited text back. Just because you’re finally talking doesn’t mean you can start slacking off just yet. When you’ve finally start conversing there are just a couple key things to keep in mind. The first thing you’ll want to do is establish the best times to reach her. That way you won’t catch her at a bad time and start to become an annoyance to her. The second thing to be aware of is your response time. Always try to match her response times. So if she takes ten minutes to respond, you should also aim to respond back when the same amount of time has passed for you. Thirdly, be courteous of her. So when she tells you she’s busy, give her space. If you are leaving the conversation to do something, let her know and give her a time when you’ll return to text back. The fourth rule to texting someone is to check your grammar. You’ll never get her to show true interest if you text like a ten year old. The fifth and final thing to keep in mind is how hard you come on to her. You don’t want to appear over-eager. Don’t try to hard and definitely don’t be sexual or disgusting in any way. Be as charming as you possibly can and she’ll be more inclined to keep talking to you long term.


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