You go out with someone, have a nice time and then what? When do you text them? Or do you call them? And what do you say? And what do you do if it’s a bad date?
Read this article to find out the best times to text, what to say and when to call!
The Bad Date Scenario
If you had a bad date with someone, or rather: a date where you felt there was no chemistry at all, then you should tell them straight away. Many people say that it’s always best to go on two dates to find out if there is chemistry as most people are nervous on a first date and often don’t feel the chemistry. They aren’t relaxed enough to do so. (That’s why relaxed first dates where there isn’t much time for awkwardness is great – like inviting someone to join you and your friends, or alone doing something together like bowling, or simply grabbing a quick coffee.) I tend to agree with those that say you should go on a second date to test the waters, because first impressions rarely last. Just thing about the first impression you had of the people you know today! However, if you really know it’s not going to work, then letting them know asap stops them from building up expectations.
If you don’t know the person you went on a date with, then a text is enough to call it off. Simply text them, tell them it was very nice spending time with them, but you don’t feel there’s any chemistry. If you want to be friends with them, you can tell them so. Just don’t lead them on and pretend you’re interested when you’re not.
Such a text should be sent the same day or the day after the date, or the same day if she sends you a text then.
If you know someone a phone call, or face to face, might be better if you want to save the friendship. It all depends on the vibe between the two of you. If you know she’s someone you’ll text and keep texting even after you said it won’t work out, then a text is fine. If it’s a more delicate situation, then pick up the phone.
The Great Date Scenario
Now, if you had a great date, on the other hand, when do you text someone? Well, there’s a supposed rule that it should be within 48 hours or you aren’t interested. I believe it should be within 24 hours. Why wait two days to tell them you had a nice time? If anything it comes across as a bit rude and unnatural if you ask me – it’s a seriously delayed reaction!
And here’s the deal, whilst you shouldn’t seem so eager you appear desperate, showing interest is nice. Women love it. There’s a huge difference between being clingy and desperate and simply showing interest. Sending a girl a text thanking her for a date is not desperate. It’s sweet.
Great Texts for the Same Night
If you feel you had a great time on the date, then there’s no reason not to text her the same night.
One text that’s very gentlemanly, is to text her to ask if she got home safely? Once she says yes you can thank her for a nice night.
Another way to do it is simply to thank her for a great date and wish her sweet dreams. Add a wink and you’re hinting that her sweet dreams should possibly include you in them…or not be all that sweet…
If you want to make it more fun, refer to something that happened during the date, such as “It was great seeing you! 😉 I can’t stop laughing about what that waiter said when he dropped the cake!” That’s prone to lead to a reply and then you can continue flirting for a bit.
If you feel there’s a lot of chemistry between the two of you and you’re sure she’s feeling the same, then go for it, say something like: “Tonight left me smiling…. Thank you!” Or: “You looked great tonight and I had an awesome time 🙂 I’m totally gonna fall asleep with a smile on my face ;)”
If you’re lucky you might end up having a bit of a flirt before heading to bed – because let’s face it: part of the fun with dating these days is text flirting! Waiting for that next text that’s gonna give you butterflies is a natural part of the dating process.
Great Texts for the Day After
If you wait another day to text, really you can say the same thing almost – thank them for a great date, refer to something they said you’re still thinking (or laughing) about, tell them you’re still smiling about the date and so forth. Also, throw some flirtatious banter in there if you can.
Why Not Call?
A phone call can be great – it’s more intimate. That’s also why it’s best left till you’re both a bit more secure with each other. Besides, a long, flirtatious phone call can be both fun, sexy and deep as you can cover a lot of ground, but if you’re just going to tell her you had a great time, you’ll spend one minute on the phone, which is not very romantic.
With texts you can play flirtatious little games. You can also answer any time you like, which means you won’t disturb her when she’s in the middle of something and, as a result, end up with an awkward conversation.
Phone calls really are great, but save them till you know you both have time to talk. It can be after the just one date, but text for a couple of days first. Build up some tension.
Just as with good book/movie you want to build up tension in a relationship. That’s why the first date should be easy going, no pressure. The second can be a bit more romantic, but still fun. On the third date you can make her swoon.
Too fast, too soon and you remove the tension.
A Note on Flirting
When flirting with someone, don’t be afraid to call them Babe, Honey, Cutie, Sweets, Sexy, etc. So long as it’s a nice name, they’ll appreciate it.
Also, go all out on the teasing (like teasing them for some habit of theirs, but in a playful and flirtatious way) and challenging. The teasing makes things fun and teasing challenges is actually what often get sparks flying. Why? Because when dating you want to feel that the other person is challenging you, not just accepting you without testing the waters. Of course, you want to do this in a flirtatious manner. For example, you ask her for another date and she says yes…then you say you have one condition. Given you behave yourself exemplary during the date, you expect a good night kiss…
It’s not about being hard to get – it’s about showing you won’t give in to just anyone. In a very playful manner. See more about that below.
If you want to find out more about how to flirt via text, read this article.
What Not to Do
Give compliments freely, tease and flirt, but don’t text her all the time. If you just met someone she’ll be checking to see you have a life, because what most of us are after is a happy and healthy guy who enjoys his life, or is busy building a life he loves. Everyone goes through difficulties and you might very well think she’s the best thing that’s happened as of late, but the important thing is to show that you don’t value a person whom you’ve just met over the life you’re leading and/or building. Go full steam for the life of your dreams and she’ll admire you for it, even if you run into some walls in the process.
A good way to ensure you don’t seem desperate is to reply/text when you have time – after you finish at the gym, after you come home from work, or during your work break, etc. It’s fine to get into a conversation and text immediately, it’s just that you shouldn’t be texting all day long, or always reply the instant you get a text. Reply when you have a natural break from what you’re doing. Then, once you’re in a conversation, text back as rapid fire as you like. And make sure to let her know when you have to go – don’t just end a conversation in the middle of it without explanation. If you feel a conversation is cooling down, definitively end it too. Don’t drag things out. As mentioned, flirting should be about building tension – about always leaving someone wanting more.