When meeting a girl it’s helpful to ask them questions, both because they will feel you are truly interested in who they are and because you will want to know certain things. Going into a relationship, or for that matter: fling, blindfolded is never a good idea. Now, of course there’s nothing to say that they will tell you the truth (and truth is, as we know, subjective), but it will still help you get a feel for who they are. As a bonus, it’s been shows that asking each other questions that slowly get more and more personal/intimate increases the feelings you feel for someone. Though what’s also important is to look the other person in the eye when talking. You can actually read about an experiment that was done to show if strangers can fall in love in a matter of hours just by asking each other questions and looking each other in the eye…Another reason for asking questions is that you can find out what makes her fall in love, what to do to make her feel appreciated and so on. It’s like getting a road map to her heart.
One thing to bear in mind is to slowly build the intimacy. Whilst most people will answer a question such as “What’s one thing you’ve done that you’d never do again?” during any part of a conversation, their answers might be a bit more revealing when you know them better.
1. Who is your best friend and what do you love about her?
This will clue you in to personality traits she values.
2. What are some of your favorite quotes from books and movies?
This will bring out what she finds funny, poignant and so forth.
3. What makes you really irritated? Especially something other people do that irritates you! Moan. Let’s hear.
4. If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
Pink castles, black dragons, or the story of their life?
5. If you could choose to have a super power, what would it be?
Would they make everyone in the world love themselves, or would they be able to fly? Quite revealing, don’t you think?
6. If you could do one big gesture for the world, what would it be?
Here you will find out what they think the most essential need in the world to be.
7. Do you have any nicknames?
Some people actually prefer their nickname(s) to their real name!
8. When you leave this world, what are the things you want to be remembered for if you get to choose? (In other words: what life do you want to lead?)
A very revealing question: does she want to be remembered for being kind, or being cool? What are the attributes that mean something to her?
9. What is one dream you think you’ll pursue relentlessly for the rest of your life?
What’s she really passionate about? This is what will guide her to the decisions she will make in life.
11. If you’ve traveled a lot, what’s your one pet peeve on airplanes?
Anyone who has spent any amount of time traveling will have developed their pet peeves. Trust me.
12. If you were to live abroad for a while, or for forever, where would it be? Do you know already, or would you have to explore the world to find that place?
Does she think she’ll move abroad, or stay in her home country (if that’s where she is now)?
13. What’s your idea of a perfect date?
This will give you clues to how to treat the girl to make her swoon. If there’s already chemistry and you treat her nice, that’s all it takes. She’ll go crazy for you.
14. What’s the ideal place for a first kiss?
15. What’s something you’ve done that you’d never do again?
Maybe it was going to the wrong hairdresser. Maybe it was doing something so outrageous she’ll only reveal it after dusk has fallen and she feels safe enough to share her secrets in the dark…
16. Do you have a silly fear for something? Like something you know is ridiculous, but you still can’t stop fearing it?
This might just give the two of you something to laugh about.
17. Is death your biggest fear, or is it something else?
Now we’re going deep. Real deep. So save this question for later in the conversation.
18. Do you believe in God or some sort of otherworldly power?
If you are to have a relationship with someone, you will need to know if your beliefs mesh, or if you can live with it if they don’t.
19. Do you ever think you’ll get married?
To some marriage is a surefire way to kill off the spark in a relationship, to others it’s what creates a spark in a relationship.
20. What’s the most romantic thing you could think of anyone doing for someone? Maybe they’ve heard someone doing something that made them melt, maybe they have just made it up, but one thing’s for sure: most girls dream of romance.
21. What do you think are the main ingredients in a happy relationship?
If they don’t know, maybe they don’t have much experience. If they do it’s not certain it’s right. At least you will discover what they believe though.
22. Have you ever heard of The Five Love Languages?
If they haven’t this is your time to show off what a relationship expert you are…if they have, then you can rest assure they’ll love you right.
23. What’s one book that’s changed your life?
The stories that affect them will tell you lots about who they are.
24. What’s one movie that’s changed your life?
Maybe it just made them see something in a new light, or made them smile on a rainy day, but it could also be that a movie changed their life completely and that can be quite the story (trust me – it happened to me and you wouldn’t believe me if I told you which movie…).
25. What’s the most inspirational story you’ve ever heard? Be it real or fiction.
What inspires and motivates them?
26. What makes you come alive? Like moments when you truly feel you are living?
Here’s a clue of how to make them happy! (And what to do on days when they aren’t.)
27. What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
Find out if your senses of humor are compatible!
28. What are your favorite TV shows?
Will clue you in to how much tele they watch and what they like in general.
29. What’s one of your best childhood memories?
Will probably tell you not only about things that make them happy in life, but also about the events that shaped them.
30. What’s one of your worst childhood memories?
Don’t ask this until you know they feel safe with you, or they won’t be comfortable sharing. When they share though, it will tell you a lot about something which probably shaped them into who they are today.
31. What’s your favorite spot in the world?
Often we have this one place we go to relax, escape, or just be blissfully happy.
32. What are some of the goals you have?
Great to know if they are inspired. Also great to know in which direction they’re heading if you’re seriously considering dating them. Never a good idea to date a girl who wants to move to Alaska when you’re in New York.
33. Who are you the closest to in your family?
This might make them open up and share about their family. It will also help you understand what people matter the most, as they are people you’ll likely get to know if you date each other.
34. Who would be the guests for your perfect dinner party if you could invite anyone, dead or alive?
Will tell you about the people they admire, are curious about and love (if they start inviting friends and family too).
35. What’s your favorite book and why?
Who doesn’t like to talk about what they love? Makes conversation flow and gives you an insight to their literary likes.
37. When you are sad, or upset, what makes you feel better?
Very important to know. There’s nothing as disastrous in a relationship as reacting in the “wrong” way when someone’s upset.
38. What’s the most stupid thing you’ve ever heard people argue about?
This is just an interesting look at what they consider worth fighting for and not.
39. Do you have any recurring dreams?
Now here’s something to have you analyze her subconscious…
40. What was your first kiss like?
Might lead to a funny, weird, or wonderful story!
41. What’s one thing you’d change if you were to go back in time?
This allows you to find out if she has any major regrets in her life.
42. What’s one thing you’ve done that you’d never tell your mom/dad/family about?
We’ve all done something we’d never tell our parents about. Be it because it was outrageous, or something we know just wouldn’t gel with them.
43. Who’s your favorite comedian?
If they have a favorite comedian, now’s the time to swap jokes. You might also find out that you guys have completely different senses of humor… At least then you can have a heated discussion about what’s funny and what’s not!
44. Do you have a favorite season of the year? What makes it your favorite?
It’s just a good conversation starter. Plus you might find out a few things she really love, be it homemade apple pie in autumn, or strawberry ice cream in summer. Take note and surprise her with it one day!
46. If you were to build/design your own house, what kind of house would it be?
Is she a design maverick? Does she prefer cozy cottages or stainless steel mansions?
47. What would be your dream car to drive?
Hey, girls like cars too! I’ve had many arguments with men about which cars have slick designs and which haven’t…
48. Who is your favorite fashion designer?
This is what you need to remember for your next shopping spree… If you have an interest in art and design it may be interesting for other reasons too. And hey, maybe they design clothes you could wear for your next date too!
49. Do you have a favorite painter/artist whose work you enjoy? Or maybe several?
This is when you get her to get her phone out to show you just what she likes. It will simply clue you in to her taste.
50. If you could have three wishes fulfilled right now, what would they be? Make that three for the world and three for you personally.
This will go to show what’s important to her, both in the world and personally. It might also reveal some struggles she’s facing at the moment, which she’d love to have magically resolved!